Okay, so Ashlyn starts school in about 37 days, not that I'm counting or anything. I have to say that I am soooo excited for her. I remember the first day of school and the anticipation and excitement that I experienced. Now, I'm on a different side of the first day of school. I have a responsibility to my daughter to not embarass her either by my actions or by my apperance. This got me thinking about some of the moms that I know and have known over the past few years. There are so many attributes of them that I admire that I wish that I could be like all of them. Of course at the top of my list is my mom because she was the absolute coolest mom EVER!
Now I know that I look like I'm twelve years old, fifteen at the most. I know that I don't look like I'm old enough to have kids, let alone three. I also know that in the past few years I have let myself go a little bit. I'm not as fit and trim as I once was, I definenlty don't eat as well as I used to and I don't dress as well as I once did. I have to make choices between washing dishes and going to the gym, I have to choose between sleeping and getting up in the morning to make a nutritious breakfast, I also have to choose between catchiing up on some of the reading that I had every intention of getting through this summer and taking a loooong walk in the heat with my kids in tow. Each sacrifice might be a success, but sometimes I don't know if it's worth it.
Well, I now have put myself in a new mind set. With Ashlyn in school all day, Breckin in preschool half of the day and just me and Addy at home, I'm making the committment to treat myself better than I have been and become my version of the perfect mom. I want to have striking looks that attract the people around me and make my husband proud to be seen out in public with me (not that he's not now, but I would certainly feel better about it), I want to be able to be successful in my education and do the best that I can, I also want to be the cool, creative mom that can throw fun parties for the kids and think of fun ideas for class projects and activities.
All of this might sound like I'm a little vain, I'll be the first to admit that I am a vain person. I could never imagine going to the grocery store in pajamas, I'm just not that person. I usually don't go out in public without makeup on. I am just trying to make myself the best me that I can be and hopefully I can find some success!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Okay, I know that I'm a dork, but when me and some of my family were playing the Loaded Questions game one of the questions was, "What awards show would like to go to?" I knew mine immediately...The ESPYS! I know that it's pretty unconventional for a woman to say that she would love to go to a show that celebrates sports and the best of sports, but that's where I would like to go.
There is something about participating in a physical competition that is unlike anything you will ever experience. It's the thrill of victory, the sorrow of defeat, the camaraderie you build as a team, the determination that you build within yourself, the blood, sweat and tears you put into something that you truly love. Perhaps it's just because the need for competition runs through my veins genetically, but there is just something about it.
Someday, I want my own children to know what it's like to be a winner, what it's like to loose a heartbreaker, what it feels like to train like a champion, and what it means to make what seems to be impossible, possible. I believe that the experience that you can have through athletic competition is unlike any other experience that you can have. I am grateful to my parents for their encouragement and support to me and my brother in helping us to learn all of these things, and I hope to one day be able to pass them on to my own children and that the cycle will continue.