Thursday, January 26, 2012

Eight Fears!!!

I really had to think about this post because there really isn't that much that I am afraid of. I have read a lot from one of my church leaders, Russell M. Nelson, about fear and faith. He has such a great perspective about fear and how fear is the opposite of faith. He says, "He teaches us that we need not fear, but rather, have faith. We have a purpose here on this earth. Have faith in the plan and know that the Lord loves you and will always provide for you. He will deliver you from bondage when you exercise faith." Here is a little video clip that was shared about fear and faith:

With this in mind, some of my fears might seem silly and unreasonable to you, but they are things that I'm afraid of.

8. The dark. I have always been afraid of the dark. I always have to have a hall light on or a lamp on so that in case I have to get up in the middle of the night I can see and I don't have to worry about anything lurking in the dark waiting for me.

7. Being alone. Jame is not allowed to die before I do, because I don't think that I could handle being alone. I am an extrovert by nature and so I need social interaction like I need air. I thrive on it! I actually will call my mom at least three times a week because I need it so badly!

6. Murderers and Thieves. When I was young, my parents let me watch Unsolved Mysteries and so ever since then I was afraid of logical things like murderers and thieves. I was never afraid of monsters or ghost, but I have always been fearful of things that are REAL and can REALLY hurt you.

5. Someone stealing my children. I have a very rational fear of having someone take my children. It happens more often than we realize and living in a small town doesn't make us any more exempt from having it happen than living in a big city. When Ashlyn was a toddler and Breckin was a newborn baby I was in a store and I was paying more attention to Breckin because he was fussing. I turned around a second later and Ashlyn was nowhere to be found. The clerks and other patrons and I searched around for her for about 5 minutes and I was just about to call the police over when I found her hiding in a clothing rack. Nothing has scared me more in my life. My children know now that you don't lose sight of your parent when you are in a store. I make them walk along side the cart with one hand on the cart now. They won't be lost on my watch!!

4. My children becoming seriously ill or losing one of my children. My kids are so much a part of my life that I really don't know what I would do if I lost one of them. I would never be the same, I know that. I would never wish this on my worst enemy, and that is all I have to say about that!

3. I will never finish school. I feel like I've been in school forever. I sometimes feel like I'll never be done! Because of my area of study, I know that I will be in school forever, but right now I just want a piece of paper that tells me that I have achieved something!! I love to learn, but I would also really love to be able to put that learning to work.

2. Snakes!! I don't care if they are poisonous or not, I HATE snakes. I can't even watch the on T.V. I purposely avoid the mountains because I just know that I'm going to encounter a nest of rattlesnakes. If every snake fell dead at this very moment I wouldn't be upset. I really don't see their value and I feel that there is great worth in the fact that Satan took the form of a serpent in the Garden of Eden. They are just PURE EVIL!!!

1. Disappointing others. I have this innate need to please everyone. I thrived on the pride that my parents had in me. My mom told me that she was proud of me frequently, but if my dad told me that he was proud of me, that was something because it wasn't something that he told us too often. I think he was trying to keep us humble. He does, however, tell me that he is proud of me a lot more frequently. It's mostly because I do well in school and because he thinks I'm a good mommy and that means a lot. I would never want to disappoint my parents or my family so I sometimes stress myself out trying to make sure that they are all happy. It's a good kind of stress though.

So, that's what I'm afraid of. If any of you have any bright ideas about putting snakes anywhere near me on April Fool's day, I would think again! Otherwise, see you tomorrow :)

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